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“Be careful, no don’t do that” might keep your children alive but doesn’t allow them to thrive !

Updated: Feb 4, 2019


As a mom of a toddler I find myself doing and saying this so often. The stress of stopping her from literally trying her best efforts to kill herself is exhausting (that’s the stressed out mom voice). Truth be told and developmentally speaking they are only exploring. Somewhere we have to allow our children to explore and push the boundaries of their bodies physically and mentally. We prescribe what their bodies are capable of and tell them you can only climb till that part of the jungle bars, nope you not ready for the jungle gym. You can only do half an hour of play outside.




Building endurance


As a kid I remember playing for hours literally only coming home when I have pushed my endurance to the limits and I was so exhausted I had just enough energy to eat and would sometimes not even manage to make it to the bath. Holidays were about restoring mental exhaustion with giving our physical skills a chance to catch up and releasing mental fatigue. Playing tennis during Wimbledon in the road, playing day and night cricket matches with the kids in the neighborhood, climbing trees to the highest branch, doing injury induced gymnastics and dance moves. Having kids push you so fast in rickety carts or on the equipment in the parks until you fell off, all helped us to discover and grow our bodies and mind, as well as relieving the stressors of a long term. I know our environments has changed but our children’s need to explore and to develop physically have not.


Foster independence


Yes you have to keep them safe but it is also your job to foster independence and help them thrive. To create safe spaces for them to push their limits. So next time you are at the playground with your child, let them lead you with their curiosity of how their body works, teach them to how to make what they desire possible with as minimal help from you.  We have to let them climb and let them fall but our job is to create a softer landing and a reasonable safe space and place to do so and not stop the climbing. So that one day when they sit with their friends and they get questioned about a scar their faces lights up with loads of happy filled childhood memories rushing back to them and a body that’s strong and serves them well.


P.S After writing this post I saw this awesome pic (posted by sensory Ayres Sensory Integration Wise by www.backwoodsmama.com) of giving some suggestions of what to say instead of be careful.




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